My daughter always loves hugging people. She loves to do that since she's a toddler. She can run to hug anyone that she knows, men or women, boys or girls. Her hugs are quite disarming and often infectious, since everyone loves it, and they all love her.
As she grows older now, we try to teach her that it's nice to hug, but it's not proper to hug just about anyone. She would even give hugs to grown-up men too, which, given her height, she would be hugging the men around that groin level, and that is totally inappropriate and unacceptable. It helps that her school now has a no-hugs-no-kisses policy. That validates our teaching to her, that it might not be proper to hug anyone. These days, when she's 7 now, she doesn't hug much anymore, not even to me. In a way, being a mommy, I feel kind of sad. But I know it's part of her learning process to growing up.
So, it comes as somewhat of a surprise, when I read an article about the culture of hugging (and giving hugs), boys or girls, among teenagers. I'm not sure if I would have endorsed a blanket hugs-everyone attitude for everyone, since it reduces the true meaning of a hug. But then, I think back on how my daughter used to be like, when she would hug everyone. It means something to her, given her open attitude. Unfortunately, in this day and age, I would rather be more reserved than open. Sad, but true.
Friday, May 29, 2009
On Bill Clinton's grudge against the Kennedys...
Can anyone blame Bill Clinton for holding grudge against those like the Kennedys and Bill Richardson in endorsing Obama during Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign? Apparently lots of people do; otherwise, it would not have made it to the news.
Some might think that Bill Clinton is acting childish and a sore loser. I bet to differ. Quite the contrary, I find both Bill and Hillary Clinton to be pretty gracious when it comes to losing. Afterall, Bill Clinton has no problem with Obama. While Bill might not run out to give Obama hugs, he does not badmouth or criticize Obama either, unlike what Dick Cheney is doing now, once Cheney is out of the office. Perhaps, it's the etiquette as an ex-president, like George W Bush does now, in abstaining from criticizing newcomer, as a show of solidity, regardless of whether you like the new policies or not.
But you know what, if I were Bill Clinton, I would probably have reacted the same, and the resented those pee-on's who crowded around him and Hillary when they're in power (and in office), but sold them out and betrayed them for some better bets. If these people have been true friends, they would have abstained from endorsing anyone. Richardson is comparatively a more despicable prick than the Kennedys, for he himself had been appointed to cabinet positions by Bill Clinton. Apparently, those meant nothing to Richardson, when he saw a better chance to be a veep candidate. Too bad, Rich, since Obama picked Joe Biden.
It's perhaps quite fitting, to see Bill Richardson to fall from grace (and fall flat on his own fat face), and to see how "powerful" (aka not powerful) the Kennedy's name really has become, when Caroline Kennedy herself shot herself in the foot, in her failed Senate bid for the New York seat. To me, these are true losers in the story.
Some might think that Bill Clinton is acting childish and a sore loser. I bet to differ. Quite the contrary, I find both Bill and Hillary Clinton to be pretty gracious when it comes to losing. Afterall, Bill Clinton has no problem with Obama. While Bill might not run out to give Obama hugs, he does not badmouth or criticize Obama either, unlike what Dick Cheney is doing now, once Cheney is out of the office. Perhaps, it's the etiquette as an ex-president, like George W Bush does now, in abstaining from criticizing newcomer, as a show of solidity, regardless of whether you like the new policies or not.
But you know what, if I were Bill Clinton, I would probably have reacted the same, and the resented those pee-on's who crowded around him and Hillary when they're in power (and in office), but sold them out and betrayed them for some better bets. If these people have been true friends, they would have abstained from endorsing anyone. Richardson is comparatively a more despicable prick than the Kennedys, for he himself had been appointed to cabinet positions by Bill Clinton. Apparently, those meant nothing to Richardson, when he saw a better chance to be a veep candidate. Too bad, Rich, since Obama picked Joe Biden.
It's perhaps quite fitting, to see Bill Richardson to fall from grace (and fall flat on his own fat face), and to see how "powerful" (aka not powerful) the Kennedy's name really has become, when Caroline Kennedy herself shot herself in the foot, in her failed Senate bid for the New York seat. To me, these are true losers in the story.
On the bitter pill to autoworkers and Detroit bankruptcy...
It's quite sad, looking at the Detroit automakers descending into bankruptcy, starting with Chrysler, and now GM. With bankruptcy, of course, it'll mean the end of an era, when signing on as an autoworker means a ticket to the middle class and American Dream, particularly for those with little education.
The UAW and other unions in their respective industries all serve a purpose, in leveling the collective bargaining playing field with the corporate. I remember one time, I visited a closed coal mine in Wales (UK) and its museum, with the history for the mine itself, coal mining in England, and the evolution of the miners' union. I remember reading about the horrendous working conditions for the coal miners, including children and animals, since they were often small enough to go into small shafts to dig. It wasn't the miners banded together to form unions and demand better pay and working conditions, that things started to change for the better. But of course, economic times change too, the mine could no longer stay profitable and was eventually shut down. I remember putting on a miner's hat, and going down the shaft with my friends and the tour guide, it's pitch dark down there, with no way out. I thought to myself, this is a horrible situation to work.
Back with the UAW, it has become so political and victim of its own success, that it thinks it can wring as much from Detroit, until Detroit is bled to death. How else can one possibly foresee a company like GM that supports more than benefits for 650,000+ retirees, with 70,750 current employees and a ever shrinking market share and sliding sales? During economic boom times, the high tides mask and effectively delay the inevitable, that these automakers really should not have survived in the long term, given its current shape and form.
Now, the autoworkers have to swallow the bitter pill, that the middle class ticket is no longer a sustainable option, and that no one is going to pay them (near) full pay forever after being laid off. I'm sure it's very tough for those families, to have come to expect very decent pay and benefits, only to find that it's going to disappear very soon. But it's a reality for most of the others in the nation, and indeed the rest of the world. For better or for worse, that has been a reality for most everyone, thanks to globalization, higher population and less resources to go around. Perhaps, these autoworkers should have been thankful that they had been afforded with such job security and comforts for this long, when others have been on the rope to fend for themselves.
I don't say this out of envy or bitterness about UAW or bitterness. Quite far from it, I can appreciate the kind of uncertainty that these autoworkers are facing. But as we all learn and know now, times change, and we have to adapt to it. It's nice to have constancy and security, but it's a luxury for us in our times.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I remember when I was young, my dad used to say to me, get a good job, keep your head down, work as hard as you can, and rewards will come to you. My dad is an old-school type, and he's very hardworking. For the longest time, he'd work upward of 18 hours a day, as a driver of his own minibus, to provide for the family. I never heard him complain.
It's providence that he never felt ill all these times. I remember one time (when I was maybe 8 or 9), he passed on and felt on the kitchen floor. Mom was terrified. She brought out all sorts of over-the-counter medicinal ointment and rubbed on them on his temples and chest. Me and my siblings were too young to appreciate the graveness of the situation. (Mom was a homemaker, and there was no health or life insurance coverage whatsoever.) Miraculously, he came to about 5 minutes later, got on his feet, and he's off to his work again. He didn't even utter a word about it thereafter.
To this day, I have always wondered what the cause of passing out. Was it exhaustion? Or, some other medical condition? We do not know. When we're going up, our family never visited any doctors, unless we're sick. It saved money...
Our family and my siblings have pulled through quite well, with everyone graduating from universities, and almost everyone in the family has a higher degree too. I have much appreciation and little doubt that, out there in the world, there are still many more families struggling like we did. My family had actually been doing quite well, and steadily improving financially, thanks to my dad's hard work and my mom's shrewdness. But there are many, many more families and children (like those in Africa, for example) who would never, ever have the chances that we had, no matter how hard they try.
I have always wondered what I can do, as an individual to improve the quality of life for the lesser fortunate ones. My siblings and I used to sponsor children via World Vision. We were particularly distraught when World Vision advised us it had lost touch with the young African girl that my sister sponsored due to civil war in the region.
I always though, there must be some other way I can contribute better and more...
The UAW and other unions in their respective industries all serve a purpose, in leveling the collective bargaining playing field with the corporate. I remember one time, I visited a closed coal mine in Wales (UK) and its museum, with the history for the mine itself, coal mining in England, and the evolution of the miners' union. I remember reading about the horrendous working conditions for the coal miners, including children and animals, since they were often small enough to go into small shafts to dig. It wasn't the miners banded together to form unions and demand better pay and working conditions, that things started to change for the better. But of course, economic times change too, the mine could no longer stay profitable and was eventually shut down. I remember putting on a miner's hat, and going down the shaft with my friends and the tour guide, it's pitch dark down there, with no way out. I thought to myself, this is a horrible situation to work.
Back with the UAW, it has become so political and victim of its own success, that it thinks it can wring as much from Detroit, until Detroit is bled to death. How else can one possibly foresee a company like GM that supports more than benefits for 650,000+ retirees, with 70,750 current employees and a ever shrinking market share and sliding sales? During economic boom times, the high tides mask and effectively delay the inevitable, that these automakers really should not have survived in the long term, given its current shape and form.
Now, the autoworkers have to swallow the bitter pill, that the middle class ticket is no longer a sustainable option, and that no one is going to pay them (near) full pay forever after being laid off. I'm sure it's very tough for those families, to have come to expect very decent pay and benefits, only to find that it's going to disappear very soon. But it's a reality for most of the others in the nation, and indeed the rest of the world. For better or for worse, that has been a reality for most everyone, thanks to globalization, higher population and less resources to go around. Perhaps, these autoworkers should have been thankful that they had been afforded with such job security and comforts for this long, when others have been on the rope to fend for themselves.
I don't say this out of envy or bitterness about UAW or bitterness. Quite far from it, I can appreciate the kind of uncertainty that these autoworkers are facing. But as we all learn and know now, times change, and we have to adapt to it. It's nice to have constancy and security, but it's a luxury for us in our times.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I remember when I was young, my dad used to say to me, get a good job, keep your head down, work as hard as you can, and rewards will come to you. My dad is an old-school type, and he's very hardworking. For the longest time, he'd work upward of 18 hours a day, as a driver of his own minibus, to provide for the family. I never heard him complain.
It's providence that he never felt ill all these times. I remember one time (when I was maybe 8 or 9), he passed on and felt on the kitchen floor. Mom was terrified. She brought out all sorts of over-the-counter medicinal ointment and rubbed on them on his temples and chest. Me and my siblings were too young to appreciate the graveness of the situation. (Mom was a homemaker, and there was no health or life insurance coverage whatsoever.) Miraculously, he came to about 5 minutes later, got on his feet, and he's off to his work again. He didn't even utter a word about it thereafter.
To this day, I have always wondered what the cause of passing out. Was it exhaustion? Or, some other medical condition? We do not know. When we're going up, our family never visited any doctors, unless we're sick. It saved money...
Our family and my siblings have pulled through quite well, with everyone graduating from universities, and almost everyone in the family has a higher degree too. I have much appreciation and little doubt that, out there in the world, there are still many more families struggling like we did. My family had actually been doing quite well, and steadily improving financially, thanks to my dad's hard work and my mom's shrewdness. But there are many, many more families and children (like those in Africa, for example) who would never, ever have the chances that we had, no matter how hard they try.
I have always wondered what I can do, as an individual to improve the quality of life for the lesser fortunate ones. My siblings and I used to sponsor children via World Vision. We were particularly distraught when World Vision advised us it had lost touch with the young African girl that my sister sponsored due to civil war in the region.
I always though, there must be some other way I can contribute better and more...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
On insomnia and sleep solution...
I often how widespread insomnia is. I'm sure there are tons of studies out there, with all kinds of statistics.
I live near a number of big-name universities, and alot of hospitals (including teaching hospitals). There are always tons of researches recruiting subjects. I can gauge the flavor-of-the-month research topic(s), based on how many studies are out there recruiting subjects. For a while, the studies on various kinds of diets dominated the day. Right now, it's all kinds of sleep studies, which usually pay quite well, ranging from $3k to more than $5k, depending on how many nights subjects are required to spend sleeping in the lab. If I had not had kids, I'll probably do those and get extra pocket money.
Sleep studies and solutions interest me, because my mom suffers insomnia. For a long time now, she's been sleeping for less than two hours every night. She gets irritable during the day. She tried all kinds of things, including non-intrusive ways. Things like, small glass of red wine nightly, one spoonful of raw beans in vinegar (some trend from Japan, she heard?), etc. Invariably, all these solutions would work for a short period of time initially, giving her hope that she can have a good night sleep. But invariably, they would fail to work after a while. I suspect it has more to do with her psychological state of mind than anything else. Naturally, she tries sleeping pills as well, although it's good that she hasn't wanted to rely on pills, and would restrict herself to half a pill per night, max.
Interestingly, my dad has always slept like a baby. He goes to bed early, and he would have a night of sound sleep, sans his bladder problem common to most older aged men. You put him in any place, and he can sleep in any place. I guess mom always looks on to dad with envy and disgust, since she's always on high alert.
These days, since they're both in their 80s now, she's always reminiscing the younger days, the kids, grand-kids, their journey through life. She says those reminiscence always keeps her awake. We told her not to think too much, or worry about things. Of course, it's easier said than done.
I remember for a short period of time, I haven't been able to sleep well either. I know it has to do with my stress level. I used to have to sleep at least 9-10 hours every night, in order to function well during the day, and I like nap time in the afternoon. I can't do those anymore. Maybe I'm getting older (and naturally need less sleep). Maybe I'm more alert (I don't like napping during the day when the kids around - what if they go outside without letting me know, and I wouldn't know where they go?!). Maybe there're just more things to worry about (afterall, we have the whole family, finances, kids stuffs, etc, on our mind all the time).
In any case, on normal nights, I would do 5 hours of sleep. Some days (like the night before my menstrual period comes), I would get particularly tired and sleepy, and I'd need a full 9 hours sleep. My husband always urges me to sleep earlier, so I can wake up in time in the morning. But I told him I don't want to sleep too early, since I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night. I want to tire myself out so much so that I would be exhausted when I hit the sack, and I would have full 5-6 hours of deep sleep. No dreams, no stir. That's what I like.
Sometimes, I wonder if I would be like my mom, reminiscing the past when I get older. Come to think of it, I have no doubt that I'd almost certainly do that. Before that day comes, I'll keep to my 6-hour sleep ritual.
The other day, I read this article that talks about sleep solutions. Some of the suggestions are quite sensible. I'll probably try some of those, when I come to need it.
I live near a number of big-name universities, and alot of hospitals (including teaching hospitals). There are always tons of researches recruiting subjects. I can gauge the flavor-of-the-month research topic(s), based on how many studies are out there recruiting subjects. For a while, the studies on various kinds of diets dominated the day. Right now, it's all kinds of sleep studies, which usually pay quite well, ranging from $3k to more than $5k, depending on how many nights subjects are required to spend sleeping in the lab. If I had not had kids, I'll probably do those and get extra pocket money.
Sleep studies and solutions interest me, because my mom suffers insomnia. For a long time now, she's been sleeping for less than two hours every night. She gets irritable during the day. She tried all kinds of things, including non-intrusive ways. Things like, small glass of red wine nightly, one spoonful of raw beans in vinegar (some trend from Japan, she heard?), etc. Invariably, all these solutions would work for a short period of time initially, giving her hope that she can have a good night sleep. But invariably, they would fail to work after a while. I suspect it has more to do with her psychological state of mind than anything else. Naturally, she tries sleeping pills as well, although it's good that she hasn't wanted to rely on pills, and would restrict herself to half a pill per night, max.
Interestingly, my dad has always slept like a baby. He goes to bed early, and he would have a night of sound sleep, sans his bladder problem common to most older aged men. You put him in any place, and he can sleep in any place. I guess mom always looks on to dad with envy and disgust, since she's always on high alert.
These days, since they're both in their 80s now, she's always reminiscing the younger days, the kids, grand-kids, their journey through life. She says those reminiscence always keeps her awake. We told her not to think too much, or worry about things. Of course, it's easier said than done.
I remember for a short period of time, I haven't been able to sleep well either. I know it has to do with my stress level. I used to have to sleep at least 9-10 hours every night, in order to function well during the day, and I like nap time in the afternoon. I can't do those anymore. Maybe I'm getting older (and naturally need less sleep). Maybe I'm more alert (I don't like napping during the day when the kids around - what if they go outside without letting me know, and I wouldn't know where they go?!). Maybe there're just more things to worry about (afterall, we have the whole family, finances, kids stuffs, etc, on our mind all the time).
In any case, on normal nights, I would do 5 hours of sleep. Some days (like the night before my menstrual period comes), I would get particularly tired and sleepy, and I'd need a full 9 hours sleep. My husband always urges me to sleep earlier, so I can wake up in time in the morning. But I told him I don't want to sleep too early, since I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night. I want to tire myself out so much so that I would be exhausted when I hit the sack, and I would have full 5-6 hours of deep sleep. No dreams, no stir. That's what I like.
Sometimes, I wonder if I would be like my mom, reminiscing the past when I get older. Come to think of it, I have no doubt that I'd almost certainly do that. Before that day comes, I'll keep to my 6-hour sleep ritual.
The other day, I read this article that talks about sleep solutions. Some of the suggestions are quite sensible. I'll probably try some of those, when I come to need it.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
On the good pilot and not-so-good pilot...
I don't drink in the past. Most alcohol smell like gasoline to me, and never appeals to me. This is one part of the Western culture in general (and binge drinking) that I never really get. The only alcoholic beverage that I consume is beer. Light cold beer in a hot day or barbecue can be a delight.
My husband grows up in such Western culture, and he drinks. It's thankful that he doesn't indulge in it. He consumes relatively small quantity, and he enjoys good ones.
One of the things that he has introduced me to, is the concept of tasting. At various points in time, we sample-taste different kinds of things, including boutique beers, vintage ports (it's heavenly with blue cheese), apples (I grew up knowing only Washington applies - the delicious reds - that taste good, but I've come to realize it actually tastes quite bland), seafood and fish, alcohol (whisky in particular) etc. Amazingly, he even convinces to try a sip of whisky. I can't say I enjoy strong alcohol like whisky, cognac, vodka and the like. But I now realize what is smooth, and not so smooth.
What does that have to do with good pilots and the not-so-good pilots? It does, because much as in tasting, we would come to distinguish the good ones from the bad by juxaposition. Putting them side by side, sample them, and the result can hit you right in the head. The effect can be so powerful that you simply cannot ignore it.
Why do I say that? Normally aircraft accidents don't happen that often, miracles even more rare. Although news and FAA reports always reveal the true nature of the accidents, because these incidents happen so infrequently that we normally treat them as isolated incidents. We read them, and we move on.
That's not the case recently, when we have the Miracle on the Hudson, witht the hero pilot staying laser-sharp focus, keeping his cool, saving the whole plane and everyone on it, by landing the plane on The Hudson due to total engine failure. You can't get cooler than that.
And then, we have a subpar pilot, and an inexperienced co-pilot, who didn't even realize the deep sh*t they're in, engaged in idle small talk, thereby bringing down the plane and burying everyone on it, including themselves.
I look at it like we were sampling apples. You take a bite of Red Delicious, then a bite of Fuji, then a bite of McIntosh, and you'll immediately realize the differences in their tastes. Without doing that, most people can't tell or won't remember the tastes. The same is true with these two pilots.
How the company could allow such a mediocre staffer with subpar standard to become captain and pilot of a plane, is quite beyond me. Perhaps there's the issue of salary difference. But does anyone know if these two pilots might have been paid in a widely different scale? I have my doubts. The only reasonable guess that I can put forth is that, the company (and people in general) cut this subpar pilot slack, enough slack over a period of time, in fact, to allow him to slip in through the door, to eventually become a pilot. I'd imagine, that doomed co-pilot could have made it in the same way this doomed pilot had made it in. Scary, isn't it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I remember I used to date a guy in college. We're both in college, and he's good at computer science. He was accepted by medical schools, but he decided to do computer science. Granted that he likes both fields, both his reasoning for choosing computer science is quite simple: If he makes mistakes in computer science and doesn't catch a bug, the worst that could happen is, his program fails the testcase. But he can always debug again, and re-run the tests. In the medical field, there's no such luxury, and he doesn't want to deal with life-and-death.
Back then, I thought to myself, that's a rather lame reason for picking computer science over med school. Perhaps there's some wisdom behind it. Naturally, if he truly loves the profession, he could have strived to be error-free and excel in it. But he's not the aggressive type. So, he eventually becomes just another programmer.
Perhaps those two pilots in the doomed Flight 3407 should have realized their own limitations, rather than letting money and vanity take precedence, and pursued other professions that do not involve life-and-death decisions. Perhaps then, they wouldn't be bringing the doom to themselves and all those poor souls on that plane.
Maybe they couldn't help themselves in the career choice. Perhaps I shouldn't sound too harsh in judging them, now that they're all dead. But I can't help it in laying the blame squarely on their slack and sloppiness, when so many people (and surely all those who fly on their planes) place their lives in their hands.
It makes me wonder how many other subpar (co)pilots are out there. Can anyone tell me??
My husband grows up in such Western culture, and he drinks. It's thankful that he doesn't indulge in it. He consumes relatively small quantity, and he enjoys good ones.
One of the things that he has introduced me to, is the concept of tasting. At various points in time, we sample-taste different kinds of things, including boutique beers, vintage ports (it's heavenly with blue cheese), apples (I grew up knowing only Washington applies - the delicious reds - that taste good, but I've come to realize it actually tastes quite bland), seafood and fish, alcohol (whisky in particular) etc. Amazingly, he even convinces to try a sip of whisky. I can't say I enjoy strong alcohol like whisky, cognac, vodka and the like. But I now realize what is smooth, and not so smooth.
What does that have to do with good pilots and the not-so-good pilots? It does, because much as in tasting, we would come to distinguish the good ones from the bad by juxaposition. Putting them side by side, sample them, and the result can hit you right in the head. The effect can be so powerful that you simply cannot ignore it.
Why do I say that? Normally aircraft accidents don't happen that often, miracles even more rare. Although news and FAA reports always reveal the true nature of the accidents, because these incidents happen so infrequently that we normally treat them as isolated incidents. We read them, and we move on.
That's not the case recently, when we have the Miracle on the Hudson, witht the hero pilot staying laser-sharp focus, keeping his cool, saving the whole plane and everyone on it, by landing the plane on The Hudson due to total engine failure. You can't get cooler than that.
And then, we have a subpar pilot, and an inexperienced co-pilot, who didn't even realize the deep sh*t they're in, engaged in idle small talk, thereby bringing down the plane and burying everyone on it, including themselves.
I look at it like we were sampling apples. You take a bite of Red Delicious, then a bite of Fuji, then a bite of McIntosh, and you'll immediately realize the differences in their tastes. Without doing that, most people can't tell or won't remember the tastes. The same is true with these two pilots.
How the company could allow such a mediocre staffer with subpar standard to become captain and pilot of a plane, is quite beyond me. Perhaps there's the issue of salary difference. But does anyone know if these two pilots might have been paid in a widely different scale? I have my doubts. The only reasonable guess that I can put forth is that, the company (and people in general) cut this subpar pilot slack, enough slack over a period of time, in fact, to allow him to slip in through the door, to eventually become a pilot. I'd imagine, that doomed co-pilot could have made it in the same way this doomed pilot had made it in. Scary, isn't it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I remember I used to date a guy in college. We're both in college, and he's good at computer science. He was accepted by medical schools, but he decided to do computer science. Granted that he likes both fields, both his reasoning for choosing computer science is quite simple: If he makes mistakes in computer science and doesn't catch a bug, the worst that could happen is, his program fails the testcase. But he can always debug again, and re-run the tests. In the medical field, there's no such luxury, and he doesn't want to deal with life-and-death.
Back then, I thought to myself, that's a rather lame reason for picking computer science over med school. Perhaps there's some wisdom behind it. Naturally, if he truly loves the profession, he could have strived to be error-free and excel in it. But he's not the aggressive type. So, he eventually becomes just another programmer.
Perhaps those two pilots in the doomed Flight 3407 should have realized their own limitations, rather than letting money and vanity take precedence, and pursued other professions that do not involve life-and-death decisions. Perhaps then, they wouldn't be bringing the doom to themselves and all those poor souls on that plane.
Maybe they couldn't help themselves in the career choice. Perhaps I shouldn't sound too harsh in judging them, now that they're all dead. But I can't help it in laying the blame squarely on their slack and sloppiness, when so many people (and surely all those who fly on their planes) place their lives in their hands.
It makes me wonder how many other subpar (co)pilots are out there. Can anyone tell me??
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
On couples tag-team to deal with child care and family...
Just now, I read an excellent and very timely article on couples tag-team to deal with child care and family, in the face of the poor economy.
The article gets it down to the dot, on couples' tightly choreographed daily routines in taking care of the family. It's particularly true when people are tightening their belts, sometimes due to job loss, shrinking business, or simply the psychological need to reduce household expenses to conserve cash to buffer for any unexpected catastrophe.
Our household has always had very high savings rate. We save probably 60% of our take home pay, with the rest going to mortgage, grocery, utility, and sundry expenses. My husband and I are not big spenders. His biggest luxury is to shop for good food, since he likes to cook. My biggest expenditure is the trips to toy stores with the kids buying them toys.
Since the start of this year, we've decided to stop sending our kids to after-school program. The after-school program is great for them to spend the afternoons with another group of kids (outside of their schools) to have fun activities. But since we also sign them up for other more stimulating programs like robotics and fun science classes, they oftentimes would miss a few days of the program, spending maybe one afternoon only (or not at all) a week. For that, we pay more than $500 a month, which we subsequently decide that it's just not worth it.
Since I telecommute and work from home, my husband picks up the duty of picking up the kids from school, sometimes letting them play in the park for a while before coming back. As the after-school classes end at different times on different days, we have to check the schedules everyday and train the kids to remember what to do, where to go, as school and classes end. These all seems to have worked out quite well. So, now, my husband picks up more responsibilities (on top of the grocery shopping, and cooking), and the kids are more independent and self-reliant. That allows me time not only to work, but to pursue my masters degree as well. And my husband works on his businesses and ventures during the hours when the kids are in school.
Challenges abound though --
(1) The article has it right, when it points out the tag-team approach can bring couples together stronger, the couples will have to have strong faith in each other, since they won't have much time for each other.
(2) The approach works well too, when everything's on schedule; but when unexpected events happen (eg. kids get sick), it can throw everything and all the planning off-balance. I can imagine how much disruptions it would have been, for situations like schools closing for seven straight days due to the recent swine flu outbreak. Some of the families might not be able to cope.
(3) It also helps tremendously that at least one couple will have to have flexible work/business schedule. That allows you to plan ahead. But if you work in office 9-5, what can you plan anyways, apart from taking vacation or sick days off, whenever there's uncertainty?
(4) When the kids are very young, the tag-team approach might not work as well. Afterall, babies under one year of age would need to be closer to the mother.
I do want to note that the tag-team approach can work out quite well, and I hope couples out there, who are facing challenges and considering alternatives, will consider this possible solution. In better economic times, everything is outsourced (eg. babysitting, lawn mowing, house cleaning, child care, etc). Doing everything ourselves makes us busier, but oftentimes does not bring the family closer. I do hope this is one silver lining from this otherwise terrible economic times that we're facing.
The article gets it down to the dot, on couples' tightly choreographed daily routines in taking care of the family. It's particularly true when people are tightening their belts, sometimes due to job loss, shrinking business, or simply the psychological need to reduce household expenses to conserve cash to buffer for any unexpected catastrophe.
Our household has always had very high savings rate. We save probably 60% of our take home pay, with the rest going to mortgage, grocery, utility, and sundry expenses. My husband and I are not big spenders. His biggest luxury is to shop for good food, since he likes to cook. My biggest expenditure is the trips to toy stores with the kids buying them toys.
Since the start of this year, we've decided to stop sending our kids to after-school program. The after-school program is great for them to spend the afternoons with another group of kids (outside of their schools) to have fun activities. But since we also sign them up for other more stimulating programs like robotics and fun science classes, they oftentimes would miss a few days of the program, spending maybe one afternoon only (or not at all) a week. For that, we pay more than $500 a month, which we subsequently decide that it's just not worth it.
Since I telecommute and work from home, my husband picks up the duty of picking up the kids from school, sometimes letting them play in the park for a while before coming back. As the after-school classes end at different times on different days, we have to check the schedules everyday and train the kids to remember what to do, where to go, as school and classes end. These all seems to have worked out quite well. So, now, my husband picks up more responsibilities (on top of the grocery shopping, and cooking), and the kids are more independent and self-reliant. That allows me time not only to work, but to pursue my masters degree as well. And my husband works on his businesses and ventures during the hours when the kids are in school.
Challenges abound though --
(1) The article has it right, when it points out the tag-team approach can bring couples together stronger, the couples will have to have strong faith in each other, since they won't have much time for each other.
(2) The approach works well too, when everything's on schedule; but when unexpected events happen (eg. kids get sick), it can throw everything and all the planning off-balance. I can imagine how much disruptions it would have been, for situations like schools closing for seven straight days due to the recent swine flu outbreak. Some of the families might not be able to cope.
(3) It also helps tremendously that at least one couple will have to have flexible work/business schedule. That allows you to plan ahead. But if you work in office 9-5, what can you plan anyways, apart from taking vacation or sick days off, whenever there's uncertainty?
(4) When the kids are very young, the tag-team approach might not work as well. Afterall, babies under one year of age would need to be closer to the mother.
I do want to note that the tag-team approach can work out quite well, and I hope couples out there, who are facing challenges and considering alternatives, will consider this possible solution. In better economic times, everything is outsourced (eg. babysitting, lawn mowing, house cleaning, child care, etc). Doing everything ourselves makes us busier, but oftentimes does not bring the family closer. I do hope this is one silver lining from this otherwise terrible economic times that we're facing.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
On professionals doing the wrong thing...
I was reading the article in New York Times the other day, on the confessions from a professional reporter in financial news no less, of how he got drawn into his own personal credit crisis.
I don't know how the writer/reporter had meant this to be received by the readers. I, for one, am somewhat puzzled. Does the reporter want sympathy? Does he want to share others pain, by shouldering some personal responsibility in contributing to this very messy credit crisis in the nation. Does he intend to express his understanding in how good people do bad things, as he's on fully display?
I perhaps feel a fix of all the above for this reporter. But the least I feel for him is sympathy. He, and his wife, knew full well the consequences. They just didn't want to face the music, and own up their action.
Surely everyone wants to feel rich. Heck, everyone wants to be rich. I want that too, but I simply couldn't let myself loose like that. Millions of responsible Americans didn't either. If one spends beyond one's means, eventually it'll turn ugly. How could a financial news reporter have claimed innocence is quite beyond me. Or, maybe he didn't; but the article surely came across like that. Considering that he still has a job that pays him $120k a year, he's most lucky, compared to those who lose both incomes in the household.
I don't know how the writer/reporter had meant this to be received by the readers. I, for one, am somewhat puzzled. Does the reporter want sympathy? Does he want to share others pain, by shouldering some personal responsibility in contributing to this very messy credit crisis in the nation. Does he intend to express his understanding in how good people do bad things, as he's on fully display?
I perhaps feel a fix of all the above for this reporter. But the least I feel for him is sympathy. He, and his wife, knew full well the consequences. They just didn't want to face the music, and own up their action.
Surely everyone wants to feel rich. Heck, everyone wants to be rich. I want that too, but I simply couldn't let myself loose like that. Millions of responsible Americans didn't either. If one spends beyond one's means, eventually it'll turn ugly. How could a financial news reporter have claimed innocence is quite beyond me. Or, maybe he didn't; but the article surely came across like that. Considering that he still has a job that pays him $120k a year, he's most lucky, compared to those who lose both incomes in the household.
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