On the perils of high heels...

I chat with my daughter from time to time about popular culture, and the messages that are often left hidden, unsaid, or implied.

Just the other day, we're chitchatting about high heels, what's all the fuss about, the state of it in the midst of high fashion and popular culture, and the perils of it. So then, it's timely when I read the article about the low opinion on high heels.

I'm sure most, if not all, girls go through that same stage when they want to grow up in a hurry. Dressing up, wearing make-up and mommy's high heels, are probably some of the rite of passage that girls would go through, as part of the growing up. I went through that stage myself, and I still remember how that's like.

What started the conversation with my daughter the other day was, I saw her slipping into a pair of high heels slippers that I put aside, ready for donation to Salvation Army. That pair of high heels, being the last pair in my closet, are the remnants from a bygone era. My daughter was intrigued since she never saw me wear any high heels. In fact, I haven't worn heels (or tight, pointy shoes) higher than two inches since before she's born. She slips them on and wobbles in it a bit. She finds it funny to have the clack-clack-clack of the heels hitting the hardwood floor. She thinks it looks adult; even pretty.

I never wore much make-up or stockings since I hate the sensation of being "wrapped" in something. (In fact, if I can help it, I don't wear regular socks either; but I need them when I wear sneakers. I'm the bare-foot type of person.  And I hate pantyhose.) But yes, back then, I sported long straight hair (which garnered much compliment back then). I took to the liking of jewelry and accessory. I like fashionable clothing which at the time must have made me looked like I'm at least 10-15 years more mature than I really was. And I had a soft spot for shoes; lots of them, a lot of them were high heels.

The trouble of the shoes fetish is that, it has long term consequences. To me, the most obvious one is that, the tight, pointy high heels left me the legacy of an enlarged bunion on both feet. They give me constant low-grade pain. I used to have really bad callus on my heels and in other part of my feet too. Since I stop wearing high heels or tight shoes, the callus has gone away. But the bunions - and the pain - stay.

I actually don't dislike high heels; some of them look pretty classy and smart-looking. But I increasingly find it very confining for women. Why do we allow ourselves to be defined by what the fashion industry says is pretty (or not pretty) on us? (To be sure, the same goes with everything, including make-up, fashion, how thin girls need to be, how women should walk or talk, yada yada.) For hundreds of years, Chinese women had had their feet crushed and bound, all for the enjoyment of men. It is perhaps a triumphant moment to have women liberated from those ancient traditions. And here we are, all the girls and women, young and old, willingly subjecting themselves to the whims of the fashion industry. When they see celebrity and models wear high heels, they wear high heels. And so, the fashion trends begin.

My daughter, being not even 10 years of age yet, could not have known or comprehended all the history and background of it. All she sees is what people on the street, or in movies, or in books, etc; and she sees them wearing high heels. She thinks people believe that's what beauty is. That's stage one of brainwash.

When I start explaining to her how it's like, hundreds of years ago, of what women had to endure, to literally crush the bones of their own feet when they're just a toddler, in order to achieve the feat of constricting their feet to a very desirable length of under 3 inches, that's the kind of twisted reality that women used to be subject to. My daughter immediately checks out my feet - being a very healthy, size 7.5, and some 9 inches in length - she cannot comprehend how my feet (or any adult's feet) can be reduced to less than 3 inches. So, we get on the web and search on bound feet. Sure enough, wikipedia has pretty detailed depiction of the custom, including pictures of what a 3-inch bound feet would look like. She does a very big "eeeewww!!" That's right, that's supposed to be what one should have exclaimed, when fashion designers begin pushing 10-inch heels on runways, heels so high that even the models would take them off and refuse them to wear them when they're parading down the aisle. As the article rightly points out, if these models can't even walk in them - and a number of them slipped and tripped, as a result - and they're paid to do so, why would retail consumers think they would fare better?

(I must've sounded like a feminist, but I don't consider myself one. Or maybe I'm not the overt, militant style feminist as those of yore. But I'm all for women's ability to make their own decisions, rather than having decisions be imposed on them. That's why I find the whole contraception debate with the GOP so very condescending; but that's a story for another day.)

Women - and men alike, I'm sure - take time to mature and find their way. For me, it starts in my 30s. That's the age when I know what I like (and don't like); and when I realize I can do what I like (and not what others tell me to). That's the age when I get comfortable in my own skin, and I would live my life in the way I want it (and not what others want me to). It's also the time when I have sufficient confidence to say, yes I've tried this (eg. high heels) and I don't like it and I'm not going to do it anymore.

I suppose one would have to go through those rite of passage, having tried it and realized what it's like, so that I can confidently tell my daughter, high heels would give her health problems (eg. bunion), and once it's there, it's something she'll have to live with for the rest of her life, and it's no fun. I suppose too, that she would still give those things a try, like make-up and nail polish and some such. I can only hope, for the benefit of my daughters, that it would not take her too long to find her own (dis)liking, and gain the necessary confidence to declare her own liberation from all these invisible bondage from the pop culture.

On the brain drain of doctors from third world to advanced countries...

It's not unusual to read about brain drain from third world countries, in pursuit of better and more lucrative opportunities in the more advanced countries. What is unusual, of the article today in New York Times on brain drain of doctors, is the guilt that these doctors feel.

It's a tough decision, tucked and pulled by the love of their home country, and the lure of a better and more comfortable life for themselves and more opportunities for their children. I can imagine the kind of betrayal their home country must have felt, having invested lots of time and resources in the education of these young doctors, only to see them leaving the country for greener pasture elsewhere. There are talks to the extent of "looting," or "thief," for the advanced countries to ply their medical doctors from poor countries to work for better pay.

Even as a reader, I can feel the dilemma. I wonder out loud, of what I would do in the shoes of these doctors, and of those who need their medical care in their home countries. Unfortunately, I must admit truthfully that I probably would have done what a good number of them did, which is to leave for better opportunities elsewhere. It's politically incorrect, even unseemly, to even admit it; but truth can often come across that way.

I feel sorry for those poor countries, yet there are enough times when I wonder why countries like those in Africa are forever mired in military conflicts and remain war torn for years, if not decades. Why do these people, particularly those rise (or fight) to the top, always resort to guns? It's easy to put the blame on western countries, even weapons dealers, in fanning the fire and profit from these regional and internal conflicts. Can these people ever emerge from such lows, to become more civilized like Nelson Mandela ever does to South Africa? Are they capable of doing so?

My knowledge and connections to the continent of Africa are causal to minimal, at best. No doubt situations are more complex than the main stream media news reporting would have it. It's time to read up some more on this topic...

On some inconsequential thoughts of Israel...

I was never immersed in the history of the Middle East. For someone who grew up in Asia, the history coverage in the region extends only as far as the end of World War II. After that, it's almost blank. So, you can imagine how ignorant I've been, all these times on this topic. As I grow older, I become more curious and start seeking. It's a curious journey.

I remember when I was little, one time we were watching the Miss Universe beauty pageant on TV. That year, Miss Venezuela was very popular among the local press, though she didn't win. The Miss Universe winner of that year was Miss Israel. I distinctly remember this odd question in my head: Why does the Miss Israel look so white when she's from the Middle East. (In my little head, I see people from Middle East as chocolate-brown. It's nothing racist about it; it's just a child's world view to see different nationalities.) Well, at least back then, even though I was so young, I knew the map and remember where Israel is. No one seems to be able to tell me the answer; not even my teacher. But then, no one seems to care. It's Israel and the Middle East, and it's so far away. Who in Asia cares, really?

That question has never had any immediate concerns to me, and it never bothers me much. It wasn't until I move to America that my curiosity starts to tickle me again. As I become more aware of politics, I start to wonder why America is so closely aligned with Israel. And though Jews seem to control quite some wealth and upper echelon in society, they always seem to be a love-hate feelings among some parts of public. I thought, there must be more to its history that would explain it.

Quite recently, my son has reached the development stage when he's into everything that's World War II related. He reads everything about the numerous battles, weaponry, generals, countries involved and their history, how the War came about and its ramifications, and so on. I start reading some of the books with him. That's when I start reading up on more history books about the birth of Israel after World War II, and more. Even though I knew about Hitler's hatred of the Jews, an easy scapegoat for everything ill before his rise to power, and I knew about the Holocast, I have not realized the huge burden of the weight of these history has that carries into the modern day.

I don't pretend to fully understand everything still. The learning is still a work-in-progress afterall. Sometimes, looking at the on-again-off-again peace process in the Middle East, and all the entanglement that comes with it, it's almost like a hopeless cause. I'm sure, in every nation, public opinion runs the full spectrum, from the peace activists to the war-mongers. As I read the news today, about the uproar resulting from an Arab justice on the Israel Supreme Court not participating in the singing of its national anthem, it prompts me to jog down this inconsequential thoughts of mine, about this young nation and all the baggage that it carries.

I don't think it'll ever heal. For a nation that seems to be forever at war with its belligerent neighbors, how could it not? What amazes me still, is the determination and discipline of its people in general. The only other peoples with that kind of determination and disciplines that I can think of, are Germans, Brits, and Japanese. Nobody comes close; not even the Americans or Chinese.

The only thing that continues to amaze me, is how traditions continue to bind Israel and its people. How else could explain a people that refuse to forget its identity through millennia? It's truly remarkable. Although I'm not a very religious person, perhaps there's truth in it, when they believe that they are the chosen people.

So then, when it comes to this news story, it strikes me as odd, of how people want to be inclusive of the Arabs into its nation. As the article rightly points out, the democracy in Israel is paper-thin. Even though I understand full well, that for Israel to survive as a nation (physically), it has to become more inclusive of the Arabs, and to treat Israel like a nationality. But it's odd to me, as an outsider, looking at all its history, to see Israel trying to treat itself as a nationality since it's more like a race to me. In a way, it's not unlike the Japanese, trying to maintain its "pure blood" and to maintain Japan not only as a nationality, but also as a race. Well, we all know how Japan is going down now, with its aging population and declining power as a nation. Will Israel, the chosen one, go down that same path? Will God treat Israel any differently?