On Wordle #376...

Another close shave...

Wordle 376 6/6

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On Wordle #375...

It's not my day today...

Wordle 375 X/6

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On the exit of Sheryl Sandberg, hallelujah ...

Thank goodness we finally see the backside of Sheryl Sandberg, now that she's exited Meta (formerly, Facebook). By jove, let's hope that the woman would just shut the hell up.

She has made her billions, no doubt about that, but her legacy will decidedly be a negative one. Her Lean In book was a total misfire, catchphrase notwithstanding. Instead of useful playbook to show the female cohorts how to achieve success, her lean-in power-posing is simply a glorified way to preening her feathers.

The Atlantic article on her legacy sums up my very negative feelings about this woman so well, I couldn't have said it better. To be sure, the conventional understanding that female leaders are one rung better than (in terms of consideration and the courage to "Do The Right Thing") the male peers might be true, but that cannot be said of Sheryl Sandberg. If she were a guy, she would not have made the news because male leaders, as bitch or SOB as she is, are commonplace. Yes, we expect more from female leaders precisely because we all hope (against all hope) that they are better than this. But money is money, and when one sells one's soul (or someone else's) in exchange for the money in the world, it really doesn't matter what gender that might be.

History will consign away Sheryl Sandberg sure (and quick) enough as it has dispensed with Marissa Mayer.  No one will miss a beat. In this day and age, particularly coming at the heels of Supreme Court reversal of Roe v. Wade, it feels like women's rights and places in the world have shrunken, having set back for decades. 

With women having to fight for reproducible rights all over again, the idea of Lean In almost feel ludicrous. The likes of Sandberg and Mayer would have us believe that women can improve their station by self-improvement only, climbing the ladder in a very male-dominated world, that feels so quaint. Younger generations have it exactly right, which is that if the system is left unchanged, if the odds are stacked so drastically against you, the only way to fight back is to bring about systemic change. And no amount of leaning in would buy you systemic change. 

As the erstwhile leader of the most influential social media, Sandberg could have brought about that much needed systemic change. Instead, she chose to perpetuate, even exacerbate, the situation (to the extent of suppressing evidence and whistleblowers), all for making more money for Facebook. One could say, her job was to maximize profits for her employer (and her own pocketbook), to hell with Do-The-Right-Thing. That's exactly why her legacy is so hard to swallow, even to the detriment of future up-and-coming female leaders. It's clear as day that she has totally missed the boat, and no amount of billions in wealth will buy her the stature to speak up again.

On Wordle #374...

Short work...

Wordle 374 5/6

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On Wordle #373...

Another fun game...

Wordle 373 4/6

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On Wordle #372...

It's only logical...

Wordle 372 3/6

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On Wordle #371...

Quite fun...

Wordle 371 5/6

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On Wordle #370...

That was close, but fun...

Wordle 370 6/6

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On Wordle #369...

Quite fun...

Wordle 369 5/6

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On Wordle #368...

I can't believe I didn't see this word sooner, when I have to resort to guessing...

Wordle 368 6/6

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On Helicopter Parenting, Tiger Moms, Gentle Parenting, and everything in betweeen...

I thought I'm done with childrearing, now that my kids are grown now, and I'll do away with all the nonsense, white noise and all the lookie-here parents who think they have it all so figured out that they feel imperative to lecture on everyone else.

Yet, every time I come across the all the various parenting styles and hoopla, I can still find myself roiling. Just as I hate the label of tiger moms and helicopter parenting, I can't believe anyone would think that gentle parenting would work all the time, for all kids, even for the same kid as s/he is growing up.

There has never been ONE particular parenting style that works. We knew it because there are just as many children across all spectrum of temperaments as there are out there. If anything, broad styling - and I truly mean it when I say the word broad, in every sense of the word - is all well and good, but as every sensible parent will attest to it, that parenting and childrearing is one of adaption and flexibility. You can hold firm on principles (eg. no corporal punishment), but it should come as no surprise to anyone that a parent would switch between different styles even within the span of a single day. The younger the child, the more adaptive a parent has to be.

By being adaptive, I don't mean to have the parents giving in to every whim of the kids, or not giving in to their demands. Surely most parents would want to have a sweet-tempered, mild-mannered child that is compliant, sensible, considerate, understand, asserting their will without throwing a tantrum, allowing negotiation to take place. For the lucky few (parents), the child is born this way, and I congratulate you. For the rest of us, the child would have to either learn it, be taught with it, or - god forbids - be made to stick to it.

Of course there is the family dynamics and circumstances that differ from one household to another. If you're not working 2-3 jobs that mandate you to stick to well-timed routines, if you have an understanding and cooperative spouse who is also firm and mild-mannered, if you have the financial wherewithal to buy as much help you need, if you have extended families or support network that allow you some downtime to rest and not be tired all the time, I salute you. But, not everyone can afford that kind of circumstances which are a luxury to some, and an impossibility to others. 

Heaven forbids, if you turn out to have a kid with special needs, you can throw all the parenting styling guidelines out of the window.

Just because someone has the good fortune to get their child into an elite college, it's hardly any affirmation that their parenting style is for everyone. I was thus understandably pissed - yes, very pissed - when I read that Tiger Mom book (Amy Chua).  In fact I was so angry at her caricature that I threw the book away, half way into it. People like her, would want everyone to believe that her way is the only way to rear a child all the way to Harvard. Is there the only way? Absolutely not. In one broad stroke, she has smeared every parent of Asian descent as if they are as crazy as she is. People like her, they want to assert their opinions so as to claim superiority over everyone else. It's as simple as that.

Now that my kids are in college, and my childrearing days are long behind me, it's high time for introspection. Some days, I'm agitated; other days, I'm calm. I would never claim my style is for everyone. Having a supportive spouse matters. Being able to rest myself (so that I'm not tired and stressed out all the time) matters a great deal too. Every child has their own needs, and we do need to observe closely. My eldest child turns out to be hyperactive when he was in grade school. Strict parenting style would have resorted to corporal punishment, but we lucked out, to have him found a passion (and some talent too) in a sport that helps to expense his excess energy, building up the self-confidence along the way. My other child finds her passion in music all on her own, though her self-confidence comes more slowly and gradually.

That being said, kids don't normally like practice. And if they let them do whatever, then it's more likely than not that you'll never get anything from them. It's only natural, to see low expectation breeds low performance. Practicing something - even something that they like to do and of their own choosing - is a matter of coaxing, positive, even some negative reinforcement. Although I never like or use corporal punishment, I can understand why some parents might resort to it because, let's face it, full time parenting is more than a full time job. It's less stressful when I'm at work than when dealing with my kids in their younger days. When you're short on time and fuse, strict adherence ("Just Do It!") is the fastest way to get things done (for parents anyways). Sunny-day scenario is, the kids learn to stick to the routines, and the parents learn to be more relaxed. How long that would take, how much give-and-take will be involved, and how easy/difficult that might be, is anyone's guess.

The first child is always the guinea pig. The reason why are so many self-proclaimed gurus pushing their parenting style, is that there are as parenting is mostly on-the-job training. I recall how much more stressed I was with my firstborn, but became far more relaxed with my second child. Even routines like care-and-feeding, schooling, even how to deal with others (including - alas! - how to push back on every parenting advice that everyone around me was so keen to give that the only thing I ever felt was, I'm not good enough as a parent, which is far from the truth).  So, to hell with all those parenting gurus. 

People often learn first-hand from their own parents (and the parenting style that they're brought up with). Some augment that with books, and observation of others. I do believe that everyone has to blaze their own trails somehow. While this might not be THE great advice that some might want to hear, but it's true. Trust yourself and your instinct. Observe closely, not just at the verbal but non-verbal cues, and be willing to try different methods, and see which one works (for both the parents and the child).

More important to me, is flexibility. Keep an open-mind, and be willing to give things a try with my kid, so as to arrive at something that works for my family as a whole. THAT is the key. 

On Wordle #367...

Pretty easy today...

Wordle 367 4/6

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On Wordle #366...

Another one of those mental block days. I'm definitely overthinking it, and can't believe I don't arrive at this common word sooner...

Wordle 366 5/6

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On Wordle #365...

When I'm getting sleepy, it's just easier to throw away an attempt or two to tease out the common letters...

Wordle 365 4/6

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On Joe Biden 2024: To Be or Not To Be...

It's almost 1.5 years since Joe Biden took office in Jan 2021. His honeymoon period apparently is officially over, with approval ratings at new low at 36%. Democrats are already bracing themselves for total rollback from the Blue Wave (its successful campaign in taking back control in the House in 2018), due to the backlash against progressive push (case in point: Defund The Police, and prison reforms, that result in huge surge in quality-of-life crimes) which would almost certainly see GOP winning back the House again. And now, it's open season for anyone to muse out loud whether Biden should run again in 2024.

If the President has been a strong one, it would have been unthinkable for anyone in his own party to even dare to think otherwise that an incumbent president should quit running for reelection. Unfortunately for Biden, his hands (metaphorically) are weak, and he's perceived as weak. 

Joe Biden is a politician from another era, an earlier era that still values compromise and politicking in getting policies passed, for the greater good of the country. These days, everyone seems intent to be the loudest, crudest, crassest, just so that they can get their 15-minute of fame long enough. Biden is not made of that stuff. He's a gentleman, and he values being nice and loved while getting things done.

And then there's the issue of age/health. Biden is 79 now, and he would be 82 if he were to win a second term, so that he would be a very ripe age of 86 at the end of a second term. He would never be or do crude and reckless things as Trump, and he would never yell at the top of his lungs as Bernie Sanders. In short, Biden would never style himself the way that younger generations want him to be.

From a more pragmatic perspective, voters see all the wrong things that might (and oftentimes might not) be the making of Biden, but it's counted against him nonetheless since the events are happening under his watch. To name a few:

• No fault: Supreme Court potential rollback of Roe v Wade, as noted in the leak. Thanks to the three SCOTUS appointees from Trump that tilt the balance to GOP favor, together with the numerous judges that he appointed to the federal becnh, this would likely to be the most long-lasting impacts of Trump. On this, Biden can't do a damn thing about.
• Partial fault: High inflation and gas price surge isn't something entirely within Biden's control, yet Biden has made it worse. Yes, the economy was ravaged by Covid in the past two odd years, but the shock-and-awe of ARP (American Rescue Plan) passed by Biden in 2021 was arguably too large, stuffing free money in people's pockets, most of whom didn't need it, resulting in a substantial spillover to push the stock market to ridiculous height. There's no surprises that most meme stocks and crypocurrency like Bitcoin, together with all the tech stocks, are all crashing to pre-2020 level, and then some. Thank goodness BBB (Build Back Better Bill) did not pass - God bless Joe Manchin. I cannot fathom what the inflation would be like if another $2.2T is added to an already inflated economy and marketplace.
• Biden's fault: The chaotic withdrawal from Afghanistan was totally an unforced error. Yes, the retreat is long overdue, but the chaotic scenes in the final days were a splitting image from the humiliating retreat from the Vietnam War, a painful reminder to American voters that the $2.3T wasted there over 20 years, and 2448 soldiers died fighting, was all for nothing. Biden is correct to end US involvement there, but the retreat should not be this messy. And now, Taliban went right back in, without much of a bullet fired.
• Biden's fault: The abrupt end of Stay-In-Mexico policy, leading to huge surge in illegal migrant surge and migrant bus in southern borders without putting in place any plans for the surge, totally shed the image that Biden is the-man-with-a-plan for everything. In a way, I can understand Biden's hope to keep this campaign promise, thanks to the relentless push by the progressives to effectively open the southern borders to all illegal migrants who want in, but that's a dereliction of duties to enforce federal policy on border control. Humanitarian goals notwithstanding, it's pure madness.
• Biden's merits (of sorts): Consensus and coalition building works out for Ukraine, in sanctioning Russia, but it can't stop Putin from dragging out the unprovoked attack. Blinken (Biden's Secretary of State) is also working hard to build coalition to contain China's aggression. Its a laudable goal, yet one must not forget that autocracy like Russia and China are not "gentlemen," they do not respect rules or laws (unless it's their rules/law), and they will not stop pushing the envelope, salami-slicing style, unless and until they feel real pain with solid hit-in-the-head. Talks and more talks will never work (just look at how useless EU/NATO have been in pushing back Russia on the Ukraine war), and "compromise" means only one thing: You give them what they want. 
• Partial fault: Progressives have been pushing hard on police reforms, but as with so many other initiatives that the progressives did, their laudable goals and inexperienced execution (or willfully ignoring reality on the ground), it leads to crime wave in cities after cities. Is there any wonder why the liberal DA got recalled after only two years in office even in the very liberal SF? Would Dems leadership like Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden still be cowered by the noisy minority progressives and continue the death march off the cliff by catering to every one of their whims?
• Biden's merits: At least he has some good sense to keep the Trump's policies in place against China. The naked aggression of CCP is plain for all to see. CCP is getting very good at talking empty words, mimicking western politicians' rhetoric to justify their every transgressions. I'm however not holding my breath that Biden will stand firm for very long. At some point he'll fold and give in to Big Business lobbyists to stand down. Then Taiwan would doom, much as Hong Kong has been.

I can't believe I say this, but 1.5 years into it, I'm already getting tired of Joe Biden. He's a nice guy, but his time has passed, probably 30 years ago. If Biden is not-to-be, what next?

As an Independent, I'll discard all the loudmouthed progressives like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders. Some of their agenda is still worth looking into, but I simply cannot stand them, much like their younger offshoot AOC. Kamala Harris is just a useless diva.

The only one that appeals to me, in terms of policy, execution, temperament, is Pete Buttigieg. If he's on the 2024 ticket, I'll vote for Dems.

As to the GOP side, all the moderates are dead in the water. GOP has their own dead march, if they get cowered again by Trump and let him run again. DeSantis, Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley are arguably worse. Thank goodness, idiots like Cawthorn are out, though I won't be surprised if more idiots bubble up to the GOP surface. It would not be the first time.

On Wordle #364...

A bit of mental block today...

Wordle 364 5/6

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On Wordle #363...

It's quite fun...

Wordle 363 4/6

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On Wordle #362...

Quick work...

Wordle 362 3/6

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On Wordle #361...

Another pure blind luck day...

Wordle 361 2/6

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On Wordle #360...

Pure blind luck...

Wordle 360 2/6

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On Wordle #359...

Definitely over-thinking it...

Wordle 359 X/6

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On Wordle #358...

That was easy...

Wordle 358 5/6

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On Wordle #357...

*phew* A close shave...

Wordle 357 6/6

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On Wordle #356...

This was quick work...

Wordle 356 3/6

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On Wordle #355...

Good game...

Wordle 355 4/6

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On Wordle #354...

It's fun today...

Wordle 354 3/6

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On Wordle #353...

Quite fun today...

Wordle 353 5/6

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On Wordle #352...

If I can't sleep yet, I might as well finish my game for the day...

Wordle 352 5/6

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On Wordle #351...

Finding where the "e" is does help a lot.

Wordle 351 4/6

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On Wordle #350...

Definitely over-thinking it...

Wordle 350 X/6

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On Wordle #349...

This is almost too easy...

Wordle 349 3/6

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On Wordle #348...

Quick and easy...

Wordle 348 4/6

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On Wordle #347...

Quick work...

Wordle 347 4/6

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