On the vanity of Valentine's Day...

I meant to write this thought in my journal on Valentine's Day, but couldn't find the time. Well, at least I'm getting to it...

It's an interesting coincidence this year, in which Valentine's Day falls on the same day as Chinese New Year's Day. For ethnic Chinese, that's a big deal, when the old meets the new.

It's a big deal because the very artificial and commercialized Valentine's Day has worked into the psyche of the younger generations in Asia, so much so that it's become almost an arms race to be seen as doing something with the loved ones. In fact, this is worse in Asia compared to the western countries, because in Asia, Valentine's Day is synonymous to pouring your guts out to your lover. No one in Asia is going to tell you that they would contemplate sending any Valentine's Day gift to other loved ones like parents or relatives. So, if you're my Valentine, you must be my bf/gf.

Sometimes, just observing the arms race, is an fun enough thing to do. You'll see all these flower delivery to offices, and all the oooh's and aaaah's are enough to send those vain girls over the moon. I remember one time, a friend of mine, who was "attach-less" and was a secretary at the time in a big corporate firm, resorted to ordering flowers to be delivered to herself on a Valentine's Day, just so that the other secretaries in the office would think that she has a boyfriend spending big bucks buying flowers for her. It's pretty pathetic, but that kind of vanity is very real.

Chinese New Year (CNY), on the other hand, is THE ultimate traditional festival that all Chinese would celebrate among families and close relatives. This has been so for a few thousand years.

With the date clash this year, those in the younger generations find that they have to choose, between spending time with lover only, or with the families as traditional obligation demands them to. Some women are also peeved by the fact that, not only are their boyfriends having to spend time with their families, rather than with them alone for some over-priced "romantic" dinner with roses in hand, but the CNY holiday also robs them of the opportunity of showboating the flowers in office.

Couple of things:

1. The last time when CNY coincides with Valentine's Day was 1953, and the next time it'll happen again is 2048. In between years, these lovers can have all their vanity fulfilled. Why these women have to mandate their boyfriends to "make a statement" to choose between their girlfriends and mothers (as representative to all the idea of the family), is somewhat bizarre to me. I can only attribute that to yet another vanity of these women.
2. Why do the men feel so torn, to begin with? To be sure, the lover is almost the one "in the moment," but there will always be just one family and one mother. There's just no way around it. To me, families should always come first.
   

Granted, my husband took side with me and break from his mother when she did not give her blessing to our marriage, all because she does not like anyone who originates from Hong Kong (she thinks everyone in Hong Kong is materialistic), and she never really knows my name or my face or utter a word with me. Oh well, maybe I shouldn't be the one to cast the first stone. :)