On body piercing of children...

It's an odd thing to read an article earlier today, on how some people consider body piercing - in particular, ear piercing - child abuse. Never has it crossed my mind that anyone would even considered that, which makes it rather astonishing to me.

On second thought, one can perhaps argue that it's not unlike the parents' decision to have their child circumcised. Afterall, it's a decision made on the child that cannot be undone, which my husband and I have decided positively for our son.

But my daughter was a bit different in this case. I never consider piercing her ears. Afterall, there is no real reason for it. Unlike my son, in which the circumcision decision is fundamentally one of hygiene, there's no reason why my daughter would need to pierce ears. Afterall, I didn't have my own ears pierced until I was in my mid 20s, when I know full well what I'm getting into, and decide that this is something I'm going to like for the rest of my life (and I still very much do). Perhaps my daughter sees it that I have my ears pierced, and it looks cool. Perhaps it could also be due to the fact that she wants to try the different earrings of mine.

I have resisted letting her making that decision. The same goes with sporting long hair. She has wanted long hair and piercing her ears very very early on, probably starting when she's around 3. I have told her, she's not getting any of these, unless and until she knows how to take care of herself. This includes how to handle the hygiene side of things properly. It's much harder for a child to wash their hair, particularly when it gets longer. The same goes with pierced ears and the earrings. Afterall, they have to be cleaned often. She has to be aware of the earrings getting caught by the hair. And even small things like, don't play around the earrings because they can get loose and be lost. I need her to learn this because I'm not going to let her wear just any earrings. I'll give her gold earrings, with much less chance of infection or irritation to her skin, and I don't want to have to keep buying gold earrings for her, if she keeps losing them. The other thing I taught her about choosing an appropriate pierced earrings is that, the stems must not be too thick, and it should not be too heavy. It should be so comfortable that you don't even feel its existence, rather than giving you pain and headache. She learns all these well.

Lucky for me...or rather, for her...she's turned out to be very responsible and cognizant of all these. She learns to shower by herself since she's 6. A few months after she starts doing that, in which I can make sure that she clean herself well every time, I let her grow her hair longer. One time we're traveling when she's 5, and we went by a jeweler store, she has her ears pierced as well. I must admit, she's much braver than most adults during the process. Not once did she even wince. She's been so happy with her earrings that she would not change to other earrings, even though I bought her more than a dozen different gold earrings. Now that she's outgrowing all those kiddie gold earrings, I'll probably have to give them away or sell them.

I would be very reluctant condemning other parents in piercing their children's ears. Some culture does it automatically. There are so many Indian families who do that to their girls when they are babies. Traditionally, Chinese families did that too, although very few do that these days, at least not in the urban cities. My mom certainly never did that on me or my sisters. And I've learnt from her the bad lessons about choosing the wrong kind of earrings. My mom used to get infections all the time since she's allergic to everything except 24k gold earrings, and she has had heavy, thick-stemmed earrings which widen the pierced holes so much that she can't wear tiny stud earrings anymore, since the studs will fall through the holes. It's not something that I would want to happen to myself or my daughter.

So, there you have it. It isn't really that bad to have your (or your child's) ears pierced. But you have to know what you're getting into. And you'd better make sure it's something you would want to live with...for life.