2015: Taking stock, and looking ahead...

I have come to enjoy this little ritual of mine, to read my year-end entry of my journal of the previous year(s) about taking stock of the year, and to look ahead. In ways big and small, it allows me to reflect on changes on both personal front and the larger world, keeping a hopeful eye to the year ahead.

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Losing a parent is never easy, and I've come to learn that. I loved my dad, and when he passed away, I felt like part of me (the better part) has died with him. No, I'm not depressed, and I've recovered from grief in the months since his passing. I'm only so grateful that there was much fond memory that I have of him, so that every time I think of it, I would make the food that he liked to cook for the family, and me in particular, since I shared a love of the many dishes with my dad, including salty/spicy squids, steam fish (and its skin, and fish belly part for fresh-water fish, and back of the fish for salt-water fish), the many soups, and congee (with fresh beef or sliced fish). I learnt so much from him, the work ethic and discipline in life, the wider perspective in things. More importantly, he's a good father, a family man, patient and understanding, allowing me to do the things I want to do without ever doubting my ability to achieve them, giving me the space and independence to go out and pursuing things without undue worry. Unlike my mom, my dad was the "me-worry?" type. His easy laughter was always infectious to me. And I learnt how to cook rice on his first teaching when I couldn't, for the longest time, understand how mom did it. My parents teach things in very different ways, and dad had the ability to appreciate how kids need to learn it, he could always show me the "tricks." I missed him dearly. 

I have thought I would become more religious with his death. Afterall, my whole family is religious, and they are all praying for my "salvation." Thankfully they let me take my time. I was hoping I could feel dad's presence after his death, but somehow I didn't feel anything. Somehow I feel like that's the end of it, and the light's out like an extinguished candle. 

I'm glad that at least mom is still holding strong and active. She's adjusting to the nursing home life. With dad's gone, there is no more bickering, and mom seems curiously peaceful about it (though she looks sad in the first few months since dad's passing). Perhaps it's just as well.

It seems like suddenly the kids' milestone is upon us, when one day I realized they're all taller than me already. They are about to enter the rat race. That's something I don't want to contemplate too much on right now.

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With the first rate hike by the Fed since 2008, I'm just so glad that I've wrapped up the refi of the property that was previously still on an ARM mortgage. Now that all of them are on 30-year fixed-rate mortgage, and the cash outlay on that front is known, I can at least rest a bit more easily without having to worry about further rate hikes which will surely come in 2016 and beyond. 

The other thing I'm happy to have wrapped up before the rate hike last week, is the re-balancing of the property portfolio, cashing out on some of them while keeping the solid ones. I don't want to be too overweight on real estate or in stock market.

No doubt those who rely on the easy money policy from the Fed and China are not going to be happy about the tightening in US policy and the softening in economy in China, but one should realize that it's not necessarily a bad thing to have ups and downs as part of the economic growth. The up and up trajectory between the late 1990s (with only a small blip in 2000 due to the tech bubble burst) and 2008 is simply not sustainable in the long term.

With those in place, I should be able to switch my focus more on the job/work front which I very much look forward to doing in the coming year. That should be exciting.

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There have been so many world events that worth noting, but I can't help looking at the horrific Paris attacks last month and the worsening refugee crisis in Europe that has no end in sight. Discrimination against Muslims in wholesale fashion is wrong, yet it's hard for average citizens not to cave in to that tendency. I really don't see how that can be resolved without first stabilizing Middle East, in particular, Syria, and Iraq, Afghanistan. 

In comparison, Russia's invasion of Crimea seems almost benign and peaceful; afterall, there are indeed a lot of those people in Crimea who identify themselves more with Russia than with Ukraine. How ironic.

With all these geopolitical crises, the bailout of Greece (yes, again) in mid year looks decidedly like soap opera. Afterall everyone knows that EU would not let Greece fail, and Greece would not drop the use of Euro so that one way or the other, Greece will have to play ball (which it did, eventually and as expected).

Will 2016 bring more peace and quiet? I kind of doubt it. China's mini-aggression in South China Sea will continue. China's economy will continue to slow, and most likely on an accelerating rate, sending shivers to all other countries that have come to depend heavily on the China trade. Greece economy will flare up again, no doubt. There will be many more millions of refugees (genuine or economic ones) rushing the shores and borders of EU, to further test its limits, resources, and patience. The seesawing of all the military conflicts in the Middle East will continue, with radical groups continue their social media campaign (thanks to the insistence to "free speech" by all the social media companies and Google and Apple that implicitly lend them a helping hand in recruitment).

On the domestic fronts, White House will change guards in 2016, with the presidential election. At least US economy should continue to limp along, with growth in jobs, GDP numbers, but not in wages. Some things, though, will remain unchanged, including broken infrastructure. Inequality in income and wealth will continue to widen. 

Are there any reasons to be hopeful about the wider world? I do hope so, but somehow I'm holding my breath. When can I exhale?