On depressingly realistic movies and Monster...

After we have kids, we don't really have much private moments or entertainment. I don't like leaving the kids behind to babysitters. I don't like to have maids (even part time) walking around my house. We watch and take care of the kids all by ourselves. It's busy and hard work, but it's worth it.

One of my main entertainment these days is watching DVD's at home, at night, after the kids have gone to bed. So, you can imagine I appreciate more of a Hollywood escape than depressing, realistic movies. But I like movies of all genres. So, I watched Mystic River and some such, and tonight, it's Monster - the 2003 movie that won Charlize Theron an Oscar.

I've delayed it time and again to watch this movie. I know the details are depressing, of Aileen Wuornos, an otherwise ordinary story of a highway prostitute, except that she turned murderous. It's more a story from her vantage point. It's so sad and tragic, of this woman who tried to find love, and be loved, and be good, but life dealt her a bad hand.

Every time I watch movies like this, or read news/stories, about unfairness in life, child abuse, women's issues, I would get fired up. When I was little, I have this idea of becoming a policewoman, so that I can go out and help people - the people who really need help. If Wuornos had not been so broken since she's 8 (raped by family friend for years), got thrown out on the street, with no one to turn to, and no other means to survive but to sell her body, she would probably out completely differently. It could happen to any child. And the sad thing is, it could well be happening in the family next door, and we won't even know it, let alone trying to help the helpless and the ones in need.

When I was about 9, I was almost raped by a total stranger - this young boy probably 14 or 15. I was lucky to have my family discovered me missing soon enough, called out for me, thus scaring the boy off to let me go. Even though I've internalized the trauma, I still remember details of that one event. I would watch for dark alleys or hidden corners (cuz there's where the boy came out). I cannot possibly imagine how it's like, if it has been someone you have trusted, to repeatedly abuse that trust and to abuse you, and no one is there to help you. That's why I feel so strongly against the child sex abuse in church, by priests whom the families have placed their trust, and so on.

I've gotta find some way in which, as an ordinary citizen, I can help to alleviate situations like this, other than just hoping and praying that God will deliver the children and women out of the evil's hands. I'm still trying to find my way to help...