On supermodels and breast-feeding...

A lot of people find it incomprehensible, of why there are so many haters towards the breast-feeding picture of supermodel Miranda Kerr, the new mother. There's equal strong emotion against another supermodel rank of Gisele Bundchen in calling for breast-feeding law recently.

One should realize that, child birth, breast feeding and child rearing are highly personal subjects; as such, the subjects can become very emotional charged. For most mothers like myself, we know that what works for others does not necessarily mean that it works for ourselves. Like myself, I pumped breast milk for my kids, because neither of my kids was able to latch on to my breasts. So, like I said, whatever works, will work for me. If that means I need to pump breast milk, so be it.

I know of other mothers who are highly opinionated and feel strongly towards one approach or the other. Some women insist natural child birth (not even painkillers). Some women insist breast-feeding even long after the kids should have outgrown the needs for the comfort of a mother's breast, let alone the real need for the supposed benefits of breast milk to boost the kids' immune system. Most mothers know what works and what doesn't for their kids.

That's why there's so much criticism about Amy Chua on her suppposed recipe of successful parenting style (ridiculous). There's why there's so much haters towards these supermodels telling others that everyone should breast-feed (equally ridiculous).

What these clueless women like Chua or Kerr or Bundchen fail to understand is that, what might work for them or in one situation does not translate well to others. Their own approach is hardly a case for generatlization to cover the rest of the women on earth. The undertone of their advocation is that, since their approach works (for them), it must be the best and right approach; hence, any other approach must be wrong or inappropriate.

But of course we know that's not true. Every kid is different. Every mother is different. Every child birth is different. Sometimes a mother can't even do the exact same thing from one child to another within the same family. For much the same reason, I normally ignore most so-called conventional wisdom, because most of them simply are not true - or rather, not true when applied to my kids.

So, for those other mothers who get upset about these silly women like Chua or Kerr or Bundchen, I'd say, the best approach is to ignore them. Don't buy their books; don't blog on the web in response to them. That's because the web works in a perverse way. When we comment on them on other blogs, even to blast them with criticism, we would be inadvertently helping to build their fame (or notoriety). To that end, the web does not distinguish between fame or notoriety, because it all perversely translates into "popularity," as measured by google's algorithm of search hits.

Naturally, that's hard to do, because when one feels strong for or against a subject, it's hard not to voice one's opinion. Afterall, I write about my displeasure to these women in my own journal here. But I've made a point not to write in any comments to any news or blogs. I hope others would take heed too.