On inter-racial marriage, and other thoughts...

Sometimes, it's hard to imagine ourselves in someone else's shoe. Granted that interracial marriages (particularly those involved white men and women from other races) were taboo in the bygone days, I have - perhaps rather naively - expected that most urban dwellers, in particular, those who are professionals, should have overcome most, if not all, of the obstacles. Apparently, that's not the case.

Or perhaps, it's not really a taboo for Asian women. In fact, alot of them still consider marrying a white man as a classy act. This is in large part a remnant of the colonial and post-colonial days, when white men living in Asia were predominantly well-off expatriates who live large. Just ask Wendi Deng, Rupert Murdoch's ambitious third wife, who was able to literally springboard herself from poor coastal China, stealing one husband 31 years her senior in LA to get a green card, then stealing Murdoch to become the rich wife that affords her the money and fame to fix with the other celebrity, rich and famous. As Deng Xiaoping once put it, "do not care if the cat is black or white, what matters is it catches mice." For Wendi Deng, who cares if the meal ticket is 30 or 40 years her senior - as long as she gets the money and fame, that's good enough. Even if it means doing cat-fights in public on camera, like those rural peasant women do in China, what matters is, she needs to protect her meal ticket. If Murdoch kicks the bucket today, she could end up having peanuts (instead of the reportedly $1 billion payout to Murdoch's second wife from their divorce).

Ah, but I have digressed...

But the point is, for Asian women like Wendi Deng, there is no taboo in the interracial marriage. It's actually a status symbol.

It's an interesting read, of the article in Wall Street Journal on black professional women's plight of insufficient qualifying black men to marry, resulting in a surprisingly high ratio of black professional women remaining single, or "marrying down" (ie. marrying men of professions that pay substantially less). Perhaps the most surprising findings in the article are that, there are so many little details about black women and their thought process, that has never occurred to me. Topics like, hair, chocolate babies, even sticking with black men as a political statement. The other interesting note in the article is the suggestion to these professional black women, that they should seriously consider marrying out of their own race. Not only would that reduce the number of black women (ratio 2-1 in professional circles) pursuing available black men, but it would reduce the "power" in which black men have traditionally held all the cards in choosing whichever black women of their choosing.

I must admit, I was rather surprised by how I feel about the reports in the article. I feel sad to the plight of those black professional women who might feel trapped (even subconsciously) by their own history and culture. I would bet you, there won't be as much odds stacked against a Chinese woman, should she want to pursue a man of another race. Again, go ask Wendi Deng.

To put things in perspective, some of the plights are not unique to black women. Traditionally, professional women of all the other races face the same issue of not having enough available professional men to choose from, as mates and partners. Not sure where all the eligible and available men have gone. For the blacks, the article could argue that a large number of black men are incarcerated. But that's not the case with professional men of other races. Perhaps a good number of them have come out of the closet and declare themselves gay.

I'm still trying to figure this one out.