On hot summer...and starting of school...

This summer is hot, hot and humid. I've been trying to avoid having A/C at home due to its environmental impacts. On most days, even in summer time, it's fine with a fan. There are days though, when temperature is well into high 90s and humidity is over 85%, it can get so muggy and at times hard to breathe. Perhaps I'm getting older too, thus feeling the heat a bit more intensely.

Thank good summer is almost over. Sometimes it's good to have four distinct seasons, so that when it gets too hot, I can long for cooler, even cold air. But when winter gets too harsh and my feet feel cold, no matter how high I turn the heat up, I dream of warm summer days. The silver lining is, at least there's something I can look forward to.

I must be getting a bit wistful. End of summer, with the forthcoming Labor Day, then start of school, always means some kind of rush. Getting school supplies, kids needing need clothing, maybe squeezing in one or two activities before school actual starts. Those rituals are fading away as the kids get bigger. There are things they can take care of themselves; hence, they don't need parents for it anymore. There are also things that we no longer do, things like family outings of mini-golf or apple picking.

More importantly, my eldest is going to college. How time flies. I still remember quite vividly all those stress and joy before during pregnancy and after he's born. Part of me feels relieved. Alas, the kid won't be forever tethered to us. He can have his own life independently. But part of me is getting nostalgic. I would miss driving him to soccer practice and games. I would not see him at the end of each day to see how he's doing. His room is looking very empty and clean, for a change.

I'm glad I still have work to keep me busy. I cannot fathom how that would have been like for stay-home parents whose lives revolve around the kids, and what they are going to do with their free time on hand once the kids are off to college or out of the door. I wouldn't think that would be a very healthy thing to build one's life around someone else's. No, I wouldn't want a life like that.

Home is getting much more quieter. In another year, our last kid will be off to college too. Then it'll be reeeeally quiet.

I do feel that my mentality toward work has morphed somewhat. No longer am I as ambitious. Maybe I don't feel like I have to prove anything, if only to myself or anyone else. Or that, I feel like I've accomplished all that I could, hence quite content with what I have so far, rather than regret what I might have missed. I don't like doing what-ifs in my head.

What I need now, is a hobby. I've always been so busy at work all these years that I suddenly realize that I've given up so many would-be hobbies and interests. I used to like drawing and am quite good at it too, but I have given up on the more artsy side of me some years ago.

Or, maybe I'll get a dog. I used to have a dog when I was young, but didn't feel like getting one while we were busy childrearing. I'm having more time now, maybe I can finally do it again.

It's probably time for a change. And I don't mean a change of jobs or careers, although that has certainly crossed my mind. Food for thoughts indeed...