On couples tag-team to deal with child care and family...

Just now, I read an excellent and very timely article on couples tag-team to deal with child care and family, in the face of the poor economy.

The article gets it down to the dot, on couples' tightly choreographed daily routines in taking care of the family. It's particularly true when people are tightening their belts, sometimes due to job loss, shrinking business, or simply the psychological need to reduce household expenses to conserve cash to buffer for any unexpected catastrophe.

Our household has always had very high savings rate. We save probably 60% of our take home pay, with the rest going to mortgage, grocery, utility, and sundry expenses. My husband and I are not big spenders. His biggest luxury is to shop for good food, since he likes to cook. My biggest expenditure is the trips to toy stores with the kids buying them toys.

Since the start of this year, we've decided to stop sending our kids to after-school program. The after-school program is great for them to spend the afternoons with another group of kids (outside of their schools) to have fun activities. But since we also sign them up for other more stimulating programs like robotics and fun science classes, they oftentimes would miss a few days of the program, spending maybe one afternoon only (or not at all) a week. For that, we pay more than $500 a month, which we subsequently decide that it's just not worth it.

Since I telecommute and work from home, my husband picks up the duty of picking up the kids from school, sometimes letting them play in the park for a while before coming back. As the after-school classes end at different times on different days, we have to check the schedules everyday and train the kids to remember what to do, where to go, as school and classes end. These all seems to have worked out quite well. So, now, my husband picks up more responsibilities (on top of the grocery shopping, and cooking), and the kids are more independent and self-reliant. That allows me time not only to work, but to pursue my masters degree as well. And my husband works on his businesses and ventures during the hours when the kids are in school.

Challenges abound though --

(1) The article has it right, when it points out the tag-team approach can bring couples together stronger, the couples will have to have strong faith in each other, since they won't have much time for each other.

(2) The approach works well too, when everything's on schedule; but when unexpected events happen (eg. kids get sick), it can throw everything and all the planning off-balance. I can imagine how much disruptions it would have been, for situations like schools closing for seven straight days due to the recent swine flu outbreak. Some of the families might not be able to cope.

(3) It also helps tremendously that at least one couple will have to have flexible work/business schedule. That allows you to plan ahead. But if you work in office 9-5, what can you plan anyways, apart from taking vacation or sick days off, whenever there's uncertainty?

(4) When the kids are very young, the tag-team approach might not work as well. Afterall, babies under one year of age would need to be closer to the mother.

I do want to note that the tag-team approach can work out quite well, and I hope couples out there, who are facing challenges and considering alternatives, will consider this possible solution. In better economic times, everything is outsourced (eg. babysitting, lawn mowing, house cleaning, child care, etc). Doing everything ourselves makes us busier, but oftentimes does not bring the family closer. I do hope this is one silver lining from this otherwise terrible economic times that we're facing.