On long hair and middle-aged women...

As I'm inching closer to middle age (!!!), I read, with interest, the New York Times article attending to rebut all criticisms about middled-aged women sporting long (grey hair). For the most obvious reasons, the author is a woman, aged 55, and in her prime middle age.

I can empathize with her passion and love of long hair. I had short hair when I was growing up, because it's too high maintenance, in my mom's taste. As a rebellion of sorts, and for my love of long hair, I sported long hair in my 20s. It's long as long as waist-length which could look unhealthy on the ends, but longer than chest-length. My hair has always been black and thick. I can't recall how much praise I got, when I let my hair down. People would say, my hair looks a black waterfall, shiny and sparkle in the sun. Another thing I should add is, perhaps due to my laziness, I don't like using conditioner, and I don't like combing or brushing my hair. After each washing, I just let it dry by itself; and when it's dried, it just flows. It's that easy.

It certainly sounds nostalgic, but I don't think I miss having to care for my long hair, albeit not having to take much care for my locks. I have to watch my earrings, in case the loops or backs get tangled with the hair. I remember some time back, I read an article (jokingly, perhaps), that bad guys like to nab girls and women in long hair, because the hair is easy to grab. But the real catalyst for the dramatic haircut (from chest-length to boy trim) is the first childbirth. To be sure, it's a difficult child birth; but mostly, it's the dramatic sweat during those 13 hours of hard laboring. I can still recall vividly the tremendous pain and the amount of sweat on me...and the long hair that was sticking to my face, my neck, and my back. I've told myself, I don't need the hair on my neck anymore.

I don't think I ever look back on my long hair. This is particularly so, since the grey hair starts coming out. It probably took me maybe 6 months or so to come to terms with having grey hair amidst my jet black hair. With the grey sprinkle now, it actually looks more natural to me. With a still young family and kids to take care of, I don't think I can afford the time to dye the hair, or worry about whether other men like the look on my head! And, hey, I'm married; so, I'm not bothered at all.

This is thus so, when I read that article, of this 55-year-old woman who's trying to justify the existence of the very long, very grey hair on her head, that I find it rather pathetic. I don't mean to sound judgmental. Afterall, it's anyone's choice to sport whatever hairdo. I just find it rather pathetic, that this woman is still holding onto her long hair. I don't doubt it that she probably has very pretty hair in her younger, and more glorious, days. (Afterall, I've been through that too.) But, c'mon, long hair in mid 50s??!!?? I don't think I can accept myself with that prospect. Plus, the fact that, I am yet to find and see a woman in her 50s and 60s with strong, grey hair, lovely enough to be long too. Maybe she still hopes to catch the fancy of some suitor. To me, it just sounds pathetic and hopeless (even the suitor part).

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It reminds me of a friend of mine. Every so often, our circle of friends would gather together, to chit-chat and to have some funs, in our girls-night-out. Every one of us, single or married, has trimmed our hair short...all except one of them, who's now a mother of two. None of us in our close circle is judgmental enough to think that her long hair is unbecoming. Afterall, her hair is still rather thick and strong, with minimal grey hair to boot. Still, something just doesn't quite click. I've been reading the other day, and suddenly it came to me - she hasn't had a different look since she was probably 14. I was thinking to myself, boy, that's sad, for someone to be holding onto her look since her teens. Garnering praise and courtship when one is young is one thing, but attempts to hold onto those "glory days" when the time has passed is quite another. I'm quite happy to brush my daughter's hair and admire her very beautiful hair, which is so much like mine back then (except that hers is alot more chestnut brown than my jet black locks). It's high time to pass the banter to the younger girls to have their days in the sun. :)