On first kiss the most memorable kiss...

There is always something tacky about Valentine's Day because we know full well that it's such an "event" made up by commercial organizations, aided by heavy campaigning and advertising, with nothing more to the sole purpose than to make everyone feel guilty not to spend and buy something for our loved ones. Still, we always fall for it. Such is human fallacy.

I normally ignore all those nonsense written solely for the purpose of this day. There is, however, this article on first kiss that caught my eyes. Not that it has much true revelation in it, but it's somehow comforting knowing that even in this age of causal sex, one night stand, and quick hook up's in dorm rooms, the younger generations still value that first kiss. Indeed how powerful first kiss can be, and how deep an impression it leaves. I don't think anyone will ever forget their first kiss.

Although I have meant this journal to be private (for myself and perhaps for my kids' browsing in the future), it's still in public domain. It is with such regret that I can't and won't put down my thoughts and details of my own first kiss. Even after all these years, I can still remember clearly that fluttering and sighing of the heart, and how it skips a beat. And how in that dim dorm room back in England (Coventry, to be exact) the warm lips have come on the spring day, so tentative, so unsure, that travels from ears, to cheek, to neck, but never to the lips! Perhaps there is still such innocence in the present days.

Sometimes when we look back, there will always be the questions of what-ifs. To be sure, I don't think I have made the wrong decision, even though it broke both hearts at the time. But situation dictates it, and we're not meant to be. I don't think I'll ever go back to a time when I regret it; still, I wish we could have had more time together than a mere year. I know I would have had regretted it, if I had given up my study and be a housewife and mother instead. I know I would never forgive myself for not fulfilling the calling in career, and not knowing what I could have achieved so early on, but to devote a life of domestication. Yes, that sounds really selfish, but I know that's how it's going to turn out to be. I've been glad to have met this great guy and my husband now, both of whom have been so supportive to me. Any men who have less confidence in themselves, could not have had the guts to face the fact that their potential partner and spouse could have achieved more than they do. But I also know, that with our mercurial temper, we could not have ended well. Perhaps then, it might as well that we'll forever cherish that year of innocence together, with such laughter, joy and tears. I don't think I can ever forget that.

Can online dating kill all that? I'm not sure about the formalized setting in online dating sites, but for anyone who's never been in it (like irc in its innocent days), their longing and aching can still be so real. But of course, in this day and age, one never knows if the one on the other side of the connection is just a crook or con. In the early irc days, like the early days of facebook when only college students are around, times were much different. I must say though, that sooner or later, that kiss will have to come when two have to come face-to-face. But of course, it can quite easily kill all those loving feelings. I wouldn't recommend online or speed dating though; in fact, I would strong argue against it, because of the perils involved. How time has changed...