On the age of a child losing its innocence...

When is the time when a child loses his/her innocence? I can't recall mine, but for my son, it's the Christmas time when he's 8 years old.

See, every parent does this, re-telling the tale of Santa Claus, carefully choreographing the Christmas story, the Santa's-good-boy/girl-list in order to see their gifts under the Christmas tree, and of course, the perfectly wrapped gifts, complete with personalized Christmas cards to the child, under the tree.

My kids, for obvious reasons, bought into the story. They even prayed to Santa. Christmas mornings always started early, when the kids woke up, sprang out from bed, and rushed to see what gifts they'd got from Santa. The sheer joy on their face is priceless. Such is the wonder of the Santa fantasy, with his elves, reindeers, sledge that comes when everyone's asleep, and even Mrs Claus.

Hence, I was taken aback when over meal time one day before Christmas this year (2008), my son, now 8, proclaimed calmly that, "I don't think Santa is real." I asked him why. He said, "Santa cannot be real." When I asked him, "So who gave you all those presents?" He said, "It's you." He went on to say that, they always told us what gifts they prayed to Santa that they hoped to get, thus we would know what gifts to get. But my daughter insisted that Santa is real.

That night, my husband and I discussed about this, and whether to confirm his belief. We've decided that it's time he loses his innocence (he suspected that much anyways). So, the next day, when I had lunch with him alone, I told him he was right, that Santa is not real, and it's been us (the parents) who've been giving them gifts. Instead of being sad or nostalgic, he gleefully grinned, "I knew it!" I guess he can't wait to grow up.

That evening, we told our daughter about that fact too. She refused to believe it still. My son very maturely explained to her, "You know, Christmas is about sharing; not just the gifts and Santa." Still, in her young, innocent mind, she would not accept that fact. My husband tried to sooth her, explaining to her that, the idea of giving and sharing is very real, and that's what Santa is all about. She looked down on her bowl, and rather quietly replied, "Oh..."

She has brought up the same question, "Is Santa real?" to us a few more times after that initial shock. My husband told her that, however many ways and times she asks that question, the answer would still be the same, that Santa himself is not real, but the idea of giving and sharing that Santa brings about is very real.

I'm rather sad to have shattered her innocence because he has come to his own. If we have not openly discussed it, sooner or later he's going to tell her in her face that she's wrong, which would be more cruel that to explain to her in a calm and civilized fashion. I have always thought that she's more mature than he is, but I guess I have been wrong.

In a way, I'm rather sad too, that my babies won't be taken in by baby stories anymore. Sometimes, I wonder if it's all those bedtime readings of Harry Potter with them that speeds up his thought process. I guess, like my daughter, I'm not quite ready to shed that childhood innocence quite yet either.